I Hate Chicken

The question that you can do to me is “why do you hate chicken?” Well, do you have already eaten the same food for several days, weeks or months?! At the end, you can not even smell such food. Basically, you feel nauseas.

Here it is a story about chickens. This is the result of fidgeting the memories of our minds. It’s like the hat of a magician; we never know what will come out.

You already had some disagreements in real life or on the internet. In real life, you can observe the facial expression of each other, but not on the internet. Then, you can be very upset and on the internet you just gag the other side. Unfortunately, sometimes these disagreements extrapolate to real life.

One day a stupid chicken and a mad chicken had a virtual disagreement and they have established that such divergence will be solved in real life… fighting. I do not know what disagreement was, but I suppose that the stupid chicken has cackled too much, as usual. The fight would be on the next Saturday at 10 a.m. They would meet on the campus next to the fountain.

In that day, at that specific hour, there I was waiting for them.

Mad Chicken: What are you doing here?

Me: I came only to see if both of you will have a fair fight.

Stupid Chicken: Honey, this is men problem, you can not be here.

MC: For me that’s ok and it’s seems reasonable.

SC: This will not be nice to your pretty eyes.

Me: Shut up. So where will be the fight?

MC: Let’s go upstairs. Behind the gym there is enough space. They are building a parking car. Today is Saturday and nobody is there.

SC: That’s OK. Let’s go. But honey, I think is better for you to go home.

Me: Shut up and walk.

Well, arriving there, we must to jump a cleft on the ground with about 1.5 m wide and 2 m in depth. Some electric and communication pipes were being installed. The chickens have flied to the other side, while I was hesitant. I was afraid to fall. The chickens were laughing of me:

SC: Go back; the fight is not for ladies.

I’ve jumped. It was easier than I though. And there we were on the parking car. I’ve sited up on a wall, just in front of the gym.

MC: I do not have weapons.

SC: Neither me. I will fight only with my body.

MC: I wish you good luck.

SC: Thank you.

The chickens were prepared to wrestle each other when suddenly they have listened a “click” behind my backs. They have looked to me amazed, stupid like unbelievers.

Me: WHAT?!

MC: What do you have behind your backs?!

Me: Nothing.

SC: Hey darling, take it easy. Don’t do any foolishness.

Me: Who?! Me?! Both of you are going to kill each other, and it is me that I’m going to do something foolish?! Don’t make me laugh.

MC: Yes, but you said that you were here just to see the fight, and if the fight was fair for each one of us.

Me: That’s right. You both will fight, one will be down and the other one will be standing up, right?!

MC: Yes.

Me: So the one who will be standing up, will fight with me.

SC: You are going to hurt yourself.

Me: Shut up.

MC: Ok, but you have a weapon behind you.

Me: What’s the problem?! You can not handle a fight with a lady?! Are you expecting that a lady fights with a man without a weapon?! That will be unfair.

MC: I see your point, it’s quite fair.

Me: So, let’s the fight begins, gentlemen!

The two chickens look to each other. Who will be the first starting?! Suddenly:

SC: Look, we need to find a reasonable solution for this problem. I really don’t want to hurt you?!

Me: Who said that will be you fighting with me?! By the way, I was expecting to fight with your friend, and not with you.

MC: But I don’t want to beat you!!

Me: You will not beat on a woman, I know you enough. But you will be down, you can believe in me.

SC: Darling, be reasonable…

Me: But I’m the one being reasonable here. Both of you are fight for which reason?!

MC: Well…

SC: Men stuff.

MC: yes.

Me: Look, you had not afraid to face me once, had you?! So, why you have afraid now?!

MC: What?!

Me: Shut up.

SC: Ok, here it is the deal. We do not fight today. You are too upset with us.

Me: NO, You will fight today.

MC: Look, we can not fight and we need to put an end on this.

Me: I agree with you, what do you suggest?!

MC: Let’s go home. Tomorrow we’ll talk.

Me: Forget it… If you don’t want to fight, both of you need to shake your hands and never more try to have a fight for fun.

SC & MC: WHAT?!

Me: Do you have a better solution?! I do not have all day, you know?!

The chickens have shake their hands and apologized themselves.

MC: Now what?! What I’m going to tell to my friends?! They will ask me what has happened here.

Me: Just tell the truth!

SC: Are you crazy?! We can not say that we have been beaten by a lady?!

MC: Yes…

SC: That will be a dishonor for us.

Me: I don’t care. Say what you want. Now that you have apologized yourself, let’s go home.

Both have walked to home, and I was walking behind them. Sometimes both looked back to me, it was like the puppy dogs when they do something wrong. Somewhere they split away. The stupid chicken remained next to me and said:

SC: You have hurt my proud.

Me: It’s better to hurt your proud than to punch your nose.

And I went home. You are wondering why I have act in this way. I just can tell you that I was protecting myself.