Friday, December 7, 2007

Murphy's Law

How many of these laws are not applied to you?

  1. When you have to unlock a door and you have your hands full with 10 big, heavy bags…the key will be placed in the opposite pocket from the hand you hardly managed to free.
  2. The only time when the door closes by itself is when you left the keys inside.
  3. When your hands are full of soil, your nose begins to tickle.
  4. When you have the impression that everything is going very well…it’s because you missed something important…
  5. When you manage to stay calm when everyone near you is desperate… it’s because you didn’t get the entire gravity of the problem.
  6. Problems are not created, neither solved, they just transform!
  7. You’ll get to the phone running exactly in time to hear that the other one hangs up.
  8. There are always two good movies on two different channels on TV…but always at the same time.
  9. The probability to drop food on yourself during lunch is directly proportional with the necessity of keeping your clothes clean!
  10. Any human body, sink in a foamy, relaxing bath…makes the phone ring!
  11. Any human body, sit on a toilet, makes the door bell ring!
  12. Wind’s speed increases directly proportional with the price of the hairdressing recently made.
  13. If you decide, after many years, to throw away something you haven’t used for a long time…Not more than 3 days will pass until you’ll desperately need exactly that object!
  14. Always, when you get somewhere in time, no one will be there to notice that, but when you are late with only 5 minutes…everyone will be already there…and everyone will look at their watch and then look at you!
  15. Don’t take life serious, after all, you won’t survive it!
  16. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
  17. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
  18. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
  19. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  20. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
  21. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
  22. Every solution breeds new problems.
  23. Enough research will tend to support your theory.
  24. When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
  25. Smile... tomorrow will be worse.
  26. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  27. You never run out of things that can go wrong.
  28. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
  29. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
  30. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  31. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
  32. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
  33. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
  34. All's well that ends.
  35. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

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