Friday, January 26, 2007

First big lesson in my life

This weekend I have remembered some episodes from my childhood. At night in my room, completely alone I have tried do understand on what was happened and transform me into what I am today.
I was born in France, in a big city called Grenoble (at the Alphes). When I was arrived to Portugal, I was 8 years old. The Portuguese language was difficult to speak, but I have always understood what people told me.
Well, when I was in France, I was the little Portuguese girl. I never had many friends in France, my colleagues looked at me as if I was from another planet. I was always well dressed as a princess and an extremely clean girl. Nobody tried to be agressive with me, the kids in France were pacific, but very cold on their manners.
At Portugal, I was the little French girl. The Portuguese princess was now a French princess. At school I was the best, the teacher counts with me to explain the math exercises. She was proud of me and… of course, I was proud of myself. In the parents meetings, the teacher gave always an example of good student… me… and my mother was proud too. Outside the school, the story was quite different. I was the French girl and the good student of my school, I was completely different from the other kids… Portuguese kids… and not so good students. Once more, I was someone without friends. Conversely, the Portuguese children were not polite in their conversation and they were aggressive even with a girl.
Along the years, I have remained quite and calm, I have always eared and digested not pretty words and acts. Inside me, a storm was preparing to break down. One day (I was 12 years old), after a good basketball match I have transform myself in the devil.
Like I said before, I was the best at school, even at the gym. The basketball was my favorite sport; I was expert on making the usual 3 points from the mid camp. In that day, my team has wanned with a high score: 37 – 6. At the end, we (the girls) were into the showers and… as usually, someone (Marta) was not digesting another defeat and talked to me rudely. I have not responded to her, I have ignored her completely. She was furious; she came into my direction and pushed me against the wall, sticking her nails on my back hands. After 20 years, I still have the marks of her nails in my hands.
Oh boy, that was her worst mistake . I was stronger than her (I never realize that until that day), I have pushed her backward, she fell on the floor and I gave her a hard kick on the ribs and on the face. She got bleeding on the lips, but nothing special, she deserved more than that. That was the last time she messed up with me.
Since I was a good student and never messed up with nobody, the school director has not believed on Marta’s version. My version was pretty reasonable “nothing happens sir, I do not understand why she is always trying screw up me!”. Nobody of the rest of the teams said a word about what happened, for the first time I felt to not be alone.

And… that was the first time that I have really hurt someone.

Lesson n.1: Being aggressive and authoritarian sometimes can give you some respect.


IQ Power said...

I was looking for something different and I found you.
You actually are different, but I don't really know if that's very good for you....At least if what you write is true, and I believe so, it looks like you're still lonely, distant and out of context!
Oh and you english needs to be revised....

Single Mind said...

Comment revision:

It is not "I found you", you should write "I have found you".
Well, in fact, you should write "I have found this blog" and not me properly.
Actually the (...) has 3 dots, and not 4 dots, as in your comment.
Another correction, it is not "Oh and you english needs to be revised...". You should write "Oh! By the way, your english needs to be revised."
Never ends a sentece with 3 dots (...). This denotes that you do not have sure about what you are writing.