Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Something not pretty to happen

Do you already have felt life escaping as sand escapes between the fingers when you try to grasp it in your hand? Yes?! So today you will understand the feelings described in this text.

Yesterday I was programming some stuffs, nothing important. And as usual, when I’m programming, it is if I was inside the computer, I loose the sense of time and everything that happens around me. Well, in short words “I’m focused”.

At the end of the day, I said for myself “eureka”, finally I’ve putted the damn program working and I have realized that I had a tremendous headache, I was dizzy, without strengths and if I had something in the stomach, for certainly it will come out.

No… I’m not pregnant.
Once again I have entered in hypoglycemia. As usual, to eat something sweet and wait for the reverse effect is the solution. But it was not what was happened this time.

After getting out the office (6:30 p.m.), I have eaten a croissant. I have driven my car until home, a quite difficult task when we can not focus on anything except to continue breathing. Since the lifts were broken in that morning due the garage flooding, I walked up 7 floors until to reach my apartment. I don’t know how much time I have taken, but for me it was an eternity. I have entered in my room and I lay down in my bed, waiting for some strength.

I have phoned to my mom, just to know if she was ok (like everyday), but she has noticed that I could not talk neither to listen anything. She was concerned, she told me to go to the hospital. That was crazy I could not move a foot, so how I could walk? I have hanged up the phone rudely because I could not listen anything more. When I achieve this state it hurts to have the eyes opened, to listen sounds even low sounds. It hurts just to think on “What I’m going to do now?”!

It was 9 p.m. when I was into the kitchen to drink a cup of milk with sugar. I hate milk with sugar, but I could not eat anything more, otherwise I’ll blow up everything. And I was into my bed again, waiting… After a while I felt cold and after I was freezing. I have rolled myself into blankets but it was worthless, my skin was colder and colder and colder. I was conscious and delirious at the same time. I remember everything what I said to the empty house, one word after another one easily, as if it was someone at my side to listening me.

Suddenly I have noticed that I was in my knees under the shower with hot water and without cloths. That was my impression at the moment. Usually I take off my cloths while the shower is opened, so when I get inside the water is already hot. But, I don’t remember to get out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. I don’t know how much time I was there.

After to go to bed (again) I saw on my mobile phone that it was 11:25 p.m. I was not cold anymore, but then it starts another kind of pains. Like electric chocks or sticking needles inside my brain. I had no strength at all, I have closed my eyes waiting I don’t know for what for, while some tears rolled down into my face.

It was 7.15 a.m. when I waked up, with a little headache. My breakfast was milk with sugar and half of the package of the champagne biscuits. At lunch it was food rich on carbohydrates.

It was not the first time that I entered into hypoglycemia but it was the first time to be alone and to enter into hypothermia. I think I’m not caring well about myself. Just after writing this text, I was searching on the internet about hypoglycemia and look what I have found: http://www.med-help.net/Hypoglycemia.html.

I promise to take care of me better than never.

1 comment:

ambs said...

As I told you normally I just read the title, and then read or not the entry on the blog. Also, normally when something important happens, people talk directly with friends, and not post something on a blog waiting for someone to read it and comment.

But given you ask me to read it, here is a comment: I really hope you take care of yourself. But you should do that before, if this is not the first time.

And now that I am posting something here I really do not want to end...