Monday, November 5, 2007

Oh no… the Chinese is back!

In these last 2 years I had a Chinese colleague in the office. Unfortunately, I do not have the best opinion about her. She came here for a pos-doc, but she didn’t know the C language and how to create a .doc file. My name became so common on requesting help that I can not support to look at her. (And she is just in front of me).

Last July she went to China for holidays. Here at the office everybody was glad, at least we will pass 2 months without the bad smelling. Fortunately she has needed to stay 2 months more there. And we were happy… and thinking that perhaps she could not return anymore.

I’ve helped so much that woman that someday she has decided to return to me all the favors. She has introduced to me a Japanese guy (pos-doc), saying that he was single, a nice man and had only 31 years old. The same guy, after 5 minutes of acquaintance, makes me the proposal to go to Lisbon to a Japanese party on the next weekend.

Point 1: What the fuck would I do between Japanese people?!

Point 2: I do not have extra money!

Point 3: Where the fuck would I sleep?!

Of course, I have rejected the proposal with a huge smile. I’ve entered in the office and passed hours arguing with her. I even told her “If you think he is a nice guy, go to bed with him!” She only asked excuses saying “You are always so nice with me; I was trying to help you on finding a husband.” Great… that was the biggest certificate of inability that I have received on all my life.

Another day, she said that was bitten by a bug. She thought on going to the doctor, so he could give her some medicine to kill the bugs. Well… they were jumpy bugs on the bed. Jumpy bugs?! I’ve made a search on google for flea. I’ve found some images and showed to her. She said very happy “that’s it, they are the same. How can I kill them?” My answer was short “clean the house, wash the laundry and take a bath.

Yes, yes, yes… I’ve told her a lot of times to take a bath. She smells so badly. Once she has asked where the bad smell was coming. I didn’t know what to say and with some nerves I told “I don’t know, take a bath. Perhaps it’s your feet, perhaps it’s your hair or perhaps it’s between your legs!” She was shocked and asked me “Are you telling me that I have a sex problem?!” I’ve laugh and laugh, I could not say anything.

And today she is back. What the fuck!

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