Thursday, March 29, 2007

Life & Futility

All my life I was confronted with some futile people with a futile life style. At least, it is my opinion. Let me tell you some stories and you will understand the meaning of futile in my mind.

When I was a little girl (about 7 years old), I have passed 15 days camping with my colleagues of school at Switzerland. Everyday we had a group task to perform. And in the last day we were preparing a party… a rap party! I didn’t know what rap music was. While I was cutting holes in black big bags (we have dressed the bags, so it was 1 hole for the head and 2 for the arms) a girl from other school was explaining to me that rap music was the most phenomenal music. Oh well, I was looking forward for the party.

The party… [no comments].

On the other day, at the bus, the same girl was sited just behind me. She asked me if I have enjoyed the party. I have simple answered “I don’t like rap.” She asked me “Why?!” about 3 or 4 times, and my answered was only “because I just don’t like it”. At the end she tells me “You are not cool, you don’t like rap!


Some years after (12 years old) at my new school I was trying to make some friendships. One day about one half of the class was together talking, laughing and I was there too. Most of the people were smokers (and it was not only regular cigarettes). Remember from a previous post on this blog when I have referred to kick a girl on her face?! Ok, this exact day, she said to me “Go back to the classroom, you need to study. You are not cool to be here with us.

At this time, I have not shrugged my shoulders; I have pointed her my third finger and tell her “f*ck you.”

Another couple of years later (and then I was 28 years old), I was talking with another girl younger than me about 2 years. I don’t remember the subject, but she said “I’m more popular than you, because I’m cool.” I just thought “She is so stupid. She always thinks knowing more than everybody and now, she is showing her greatest stupidity.

I really don’t know if the boys want to be cool and have popularity, but most part of the girls want it. This is to be futile. This is what I call a futile life, where you pretend to be someone, just to be cool.

The most incredible people that I ever met don’t want to be popular. They like to be in the background. The most beautiful people are the ones that have a clean heart. You look into their eyes and you only see peace and love. The trustiest people are the ones that tell you the good and the bad parts of a special situation/idea, and not good neither bad critics.

By the way, I hate to be popular at work. A great part of the people is counting with me to help them on their problems. I really feel fine helping other people, but sometimes I just don’t have time enough to do my work, so how I’m going to have time to help other people!?

To be or not to be cool… Here is the question.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Usually I don’t make comments on blogs which I read (and I read some very often).
This time I couldn’t resist!

A few weeks ago I was in virtual community called MOOsaico (check link to mosaic on this blog main page) and a person said something like “PHP sucks.”
PHP is a programming language that I use and I like. I decided to ask “Why? Why do you say it sucks?”
I was expecting an answer like “it is slow”, “it’s not efficient” or “it takes to many resources from the server”. None of these statements is true (in my opinion) but this was the kind of answer that I was expecting.
The answer was something like “It sucks. It has lots of functions with similar arguments. It’s not good!”.
I replied “Why is that bad? Why having lots of functions is bad?”
The answer was “There are people who like to be f**ked in the a*s”.

I thought “I can answer: «you know what kind of things you like to do» but I won’t do that”
I just replied “ok. That’s your opinion about PHP”. And it was the end of talk.

Shortly after my last message I received a private message from a friend saying “you should have answered in his very low level. You should had send him to go f*** in the as*. Now people in the Moosaico will think that you are not «cool»”

That’s the point. I’m what I’m.
If the guy is stupid, I’m not. I’m not going to his low level language to be tagged has «cool». I’m not worried in be tagged has cool.

I don’t care what other people may think (especially in a virtual community where very few people know me in my real life). Cleaver people would understand that he was not being intellectually honest.

It’s like people that think they must drink lots of alcohol and goes out late at night to be «cool» and popular in the University. No one ever saw me drinking beer or other alcoholic drinks while I was at University. I was never worried in be popular. I have very good friends – those who really know me.