Time Loop

Yesterday in the early morning a familiar noise has woke me up. I was listening someone walking and my mind associated to the footsteps of my mother coming up by the stairs. I’ve thought “Oh no, mum is coming to wake me up”.

[When I lived with my parents, my mother had always the bad habit to come to wake me up in a very friendly way. She opened my bedroom door, opened the blind and pulled out the bed sheets in a way that all my body was uncover, saying “It’s time to wake up” very loud. On the week days it was at 7 a.m. and on the weekend at 8:30 a.m.]

I’ve opened my eyes suddenly and kept listening the footsteps. I’ve eared someone breathing behind me. Wow, who was there?! My mother would kill me. I’ve turned the head and realized that I was in my house and not having 12 years old. What a relief!!

The footsteps were exaggerated. The upper neighbor was walking with high-heeled shoes at 6 a.m.. Surprisingly, some tears have rolled into my face. I wonder why.

Grape Harvest

This last weekend I’ve made a visit to my mother. We were having lunch when I’ve asked her:

me: Next weekend to you need extra-help for the grape harvest?

mom: Are you thinking on what I am thinking?!

me: Yes, why not?! You both already know each other…

mom: But… he doesn’t mind coming from F., do he?!

me: I didn’t say that was the guy from F.

mom: NO!!

me: Yes.

mom: NO, I can not believe on it.

me: Well, it’s true, you can believe it.

mom: I told you that someday you will join together again.

me: Ok, don’t tell me anything more. I already know your opinion.

mom: And what’s happened to the other guy?!

me: Mom, in my life the buses were always late, and I’ve always waited for them. This time I’ve decided to take another bus from a different line. I hate to be late.

Well, that’s true. Again 2 Aries have joined together for the third time. Yes… third time, unbelievable, hein?! So here are the dates which I remember quite well:

May 15th, 1997

January 19th, 2002

September 4th, 2007

Each 5 years we join together, so I’m already prepared to split away in order to join together again in 2012. :-) In this moment you are wondering why we spilt away. As I said to him, some weeks ago “90% of the reasons are from gastronomical incompatibilities”. I’m hearing your laughs :-) I think that if everybody had only gastronomical incompatibilities the world would be happier, right?! But in our case… the Aries tend to be perfectionists and if something doesn’t match the relationship doesn’t hold on for long. Anyway 10 years have already passed, and both are more tolerant, or at least we should be more tolerant. Huumm, making a quick introspection, I think I’m less tolerant than I was 10 years ago, but at least I’ve more wisdom to deal with the misunderstandings/problems.

Make your bets… are we going to join together a 4th time?!

Time – Pink Floyd

Riding a Horse

When I was a baby (4 months years old), says my father that we was shopping with my mother. They passed by the toys section and I’ve fixed my eyes on a swing plushy horse. They say that I could not remove my eyes from the horse. They could not afford it, but they bought the horse for me. The horse was so cute.

I remember to be 15 years old and studding for a psychology test, trying to learn by heart some cliché sentences and riding/swinging the horse. I would like to keep that horse forever, it was the most beautiful gift/toy that someone gave to me (and I do not remember that day, obviously).

When I was 20 years old my father had a serious conversation with me “Look, you need to give the horse to another kid. You are a grown up. You can not even sit on it.” I’ve agreed with him, but I would like to keep the horse for my children in the future. Anyway, I gave the horse to the church, so they could sell it on auction, reverting the funds to charitable causes. I could not turn my parent’s house into a warehouse.

I didn’t saw the auction. I could not saw it, otherwise I could buy the horse again for myself. I never saw anything similar, at least in Portugal.

Well, I’ve rode a horse for many years. Today I move myself in other ways, such as driving my car or… (And this one is for someone very special)

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

P.S. I really need to buy a cowboy hat.

I Hate Chicken

The question that you can do to me is “why do you hate chicken?” Well, do you have already eaten the same food for several days, weeks or months?! At the end, you can not even smell such food. Basically, you feel nauseas.

Here it is a story about chickens. This is the result of fidgeting the memories of our minds. It’s like the hat of a magician; we never know what will come out.

You already had some disagreements in real life or on the internet. In real life, you can observe the facial expression of each other, but not on the internet. Then, you can be very upset and on the internet you just gag the other side. Unfortunately, sometimes these disagreements extrapolate to real life.

One day a stupid chicken and a mad chicken had a virtual disagreement and they have established that such divergence will be solved in real life… fighting. I do not know what disagreement was, but I suppose that the stupid chicken has cackled too much, as usual. The fight would be on the next Saturday at 10 a.m. They would meet on the campus next to the fountain.

In that day, at that specific hour, there I was waiting for them.

Mad Chicken: What are you doing here?

Me: I came only to see if both of you will have a fair fight.

Stupid Chicken: Honey, this is men problem, you can not be here.

MC: For me that’s ok and it’s seems reasonable.

SC: This will not be nice to your pretty eyes.

Me: Shut up. So where will be the fight?

MC: Let’s go upstairs. Behind the gym there is enough space. They are building a parking car. Today is Saturday and nobody is there.

SC: That’s OK. Let’s go. But honey, I think is better for you to go home.

Me: Shut up and walk.

Well, arriving there, we must to jump a cleft on the ground with about 1.5 m wide and 2 m in depth. Some electric and communication pipes were being installed. The chickens have flied to the other side, while I was hesitant. I was afraid to fall. The chickens were laughing of me:

SC: Go back; the fight is not for ladies.

I’ve jumped. It was easier than I though. And there we were on the parking car. I’ve sited up on a wall, just in front of the gym.

MC: I do not have weapons.

SC: Neither me. I will fight only with my body.

MC: I wish you good luck.

SC: Thank you.

The chickens were prepared to wrestle each other when suddenly they have listened a “click” behind my backs. They have looked to me amazed, stupid like unbelievers.

Me: WHAT?!

MC: What do you have behind your backs?!

Me: Nothing.

SC: Hey darling, take it easy. Don’t do any foolishness.

Me: Who?! Me?! Both of you are going to kill each other, and it is me that I’m going to do something foolish?! Don’t make me laugh.

MC: Yes, but you said that you were here just to see the fight, and if the fight was fair for each one of us.

Me: That’s right. You both will fight, one will be down and the other one will be standing up, right?!

MC: Yes.

Me: So the one who will be standing up, will fight with me.

SC: You are going to hurt yourself.

Me: Shut up.

MC: Ok, but you have a weapon behind you.

Me: What’s the problem?! You can not handle a fight with a lady?! Are you expecting that a lady fights with a man without a weapon?! That will be unfair.

MC: I see your point, it’s quite fair.

Me: So, let’s the fight begins, gentlemen!

The two chickens look to each other. Who will be the first starting?! Suddenly:

SC: Look, we need to find a reasonable solution for this problem. I really don’t want to hurt you?!

Me: Who said that will be you fighting with me?! By the way, I was expecting to fight with your friend, and not with you.

MC: But I don’t want to beat you!!

Me: You will not beat on a woman, I know you enough. But you will be down, you can believe in me.

SC: Darling, be reasonable…

Me: But I’m the one being reasonable here. Both of you are fight for which reason?!

MC: Well…

SC: Men stuff.

MC: yes.

Me: Look, you had not afraid to face me once, had you?! So, why you have afraid now?!

MC: What?!

Me: Shut up.

SC: Ok, here it is the deal. We do not fight today. You are too upset with us.

Me: NO, You will fight today.

MC: Look, we can not fight and we need to put an end on this.

Me: I agree with you, what do you suggest?!

MC: Let’s go home. Tomorrow we’ll talk.

Me: Forget it… If you don’t want to fight, both of you need to shake your hands and never more try to have a fight for fun.

SC & MC: WHAT?!

Me: Do you have a better solution?! I do not have all day, you know?!

The chickens have shake their hands and apologized themselves.

MC: Now what?! What I’m going to tell to my friends?! They will ask me what has happened here.

Me: Just tell the truth!

SC: Are you crazy?! We can not say that we have been beaten by a lady?!

MC: Yes…

SC: That will be a dishonor for us.

Me: I don’t care. Say what you want. Now that you have apologized yourself, let’s go home.

Both have walked to home, and I was walking behind them. Sometimes both looked back to me, it was like the puppy dogs when they do something wrong. Somewhere they split away. The stupid chicken remained next to me and said:

SC: You have hurt my proud.

Me: It’s better to hurt your proud than to punch your nose.

And I went home. You are wondering why I have act in this way. I just can tell you that I was protecting myself.

A Story With About 12 Years Old

A good thing is to remember some situation on the past and laugh of it. One of these days I was talking with a friend when suddenly she said:

- Do you remember that time you were cooking pizza?! And your guy was saying “put some more corn, more corn…”. I never ate pizza with corn until that day.

- Yes, all the guys liked corn, so I’ve exaggerated on such ingredient.

- And do you remember after the dinner… we saw a movie where the girl used honey to cover the body guy. I do not remember the name of the movie.

- The title was “4 days and 5 nights”. The guy had decided to have an affair one week before the wedding.

- I don’t know.

- Ooh, but I know!

I went to the movie store with two of the guys. They would like to watch a movie with some “hard core” scenes. I’ve just remembered them the last time I tried to see such movie, I’ve blow up all the dinner. They gave me free pass to choose the movie. So I choose an erotic movie. Instead to watch hard core scenes we saw some sensual scenes. One of the guys said:

- With such movie, it is not fair to have only one woman with us.

- Oh, don’t worry, I’ll call to a friend of mine – said the other one.

At night when she has arrived, I was cooking pizza. I really don’t know how many pizzas I’ve cooked, perhaps 4 or 5… but each one were extra big size. One thing that I never liked is someone messing me while I’m cooking: “do this”, “put that”, “watch out”, etc. Come on… If I’d willing myself to cook, it’s because I know how to cook. Anyway… we had dinner and after we went to our bedroom to watch the movie. I never had so many people on the bed. We were 4 guys and 2 girls. Of course, two of the guys remained sited on a chair, because there was no space for everybody.

Something that I’ve appreciate was seeing the face of the guys on some erotic scenes. I wonder why I always loved to cause some dry swallowing to the guys. Unfortunately we could not saw some hot scenes. The video tape was to damage on that specific location. The guys have decided to replay these scenes on the relent mode. On one of the scenes, the woman covered the body of the men with honey. The man was attached to a post and could not move. He was to the mercy of that woman. She has massaged his body with honey and licked some honey for all over his body (or should I say “licked his body with honey”?). Suddenly the video tape was acceptable and… the maid arrived at home. It was morning. The maid saw her boss attached to a post, completely naked and dirty with honey and other sweet creamy food. Her boss…!!

That was what my friend remembers. I really don’t know why she remembers that night… perhaps because she was flirting one of the cute guys?! Anyway, I will never forget that night but for another reason. In the next day, I’ve ate honey for the last time on my life.

The idea was funny but in reality it was quite sticky. Try to imagine two people on the bathroom washing and itching themselves, after to have eaten an half of honey bottle of 500ml. When I remember this I usually say that I could not have a better nutritional breakfast as that one.

For those who planes to do such thing, try to use some body oil with a sweet fragrance instead to use some food. You really don’t want to scratch yourself during hours. That’s an advice.

All the video tapes have a few seconds showing a message “do not copy this video”. In my opinion, some video tapes should also present the message DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

After this message, I'm sure she will tell me again thousand times that I'm crazy. Ok, let's turn off the MSN. :-)

Background

Everybody knows that the most important people are always in the background. The question that we should make to ourselves is “Am I belonging to the background people?!” Answering yes or no it is not a smart answer, since all the answers need corroboration.

Last Saturday I came to the office and an Indian colleague said that he would like to have a conversation with me. He began talking “I just want listen your wisdom about a tricky problem.” I was surprised. I know that some people are counting on me, but I never eared literally such words. The conversation was off record. This morning we met on the street while we were coming to work. The guy with a huge smile in the face said “I’ve sent a second e-mail as you told me, and finally they got my point.”

Rewinding the tape… about one year ago, a guy has requested help about a single math exercise, at MOOsaico. Well, I never liked the guy so I’ve remained in silence. The feeling was mutual. I knew that someone will answer to the problem, so I didn’t have bored with the issue. Two days after, the guy comes with a personal message requesting help from me about the same math exercise plus three extra exercises. I said “Look, in the other day, the girl has explained to you the problem.” He replied “Yes and I have understood a shit. I have a test tomorrow. I really need to know how to solve these exercises.” I have solved the exercises with all the explanations step by step in a text file. The funny thing is that the negative feeling between us has disappeared.

Another story (and the last of this post) was 4 years ago. A colleague was in troubles, he was talking about his problem with one or two colleagues. Usually when someone tells a story to one persona, in a few days everybody knows about the story. :-s I was astonished. The guy was completely stuck. He could not have done anything, only the surrounding people could help him. I’ve got the same problem when I started my PhD passing 4 months without receiving a cent. Yes, I’ve helped the guy. He only had a few euros in the pocket. He was buying cheap pickled food.

After a few days an old colleague comes into my office and gives me a big package. I have opened it. Inside there was a statue of an angel. I have asked “What this means? It’s not my birthday!” She puts her hands on my shoulder and says: “You are an angel.”

Ok, let’s clean these tears… Each time I remember the last story, some tears insist on coming into the eyes. I wonder why!?

Am I someone in the background?! I don’t know, but at least I feel like it.

I’m Unforgettable

When people met me, usually they never forget me. I can be unforgettable for bad or good things. I always try to leave a good impression so people can always smiles remembering me.

But… sometimes it’s quite difficult to cause a good impression, especially when we can do anything at all. I remember, a few years ago, the 1st surgery on removing the 1st tooth wisdom. Yes, it was a surgery and not a simple tooth extraction. It took 3 hours to have the bastard off my bone, and the assistant lady at the middle of the surgery has decided to faint completely dead on the floor. Here I was on the dentist chair holding all the medical stuff inside my mouth, while the doctor was helping the lady. The 2nd tooth was easier to remove. Again another surgery of one hour but nothing strange has happened.

I have always believed that the worst tooth was already removed. However I have decided to remove a tooth each year, and not all of them in a short time. I was removing the wisdom teeth but at least I still have some good sense (or wisdom).

Another doctor has removed the 3rd tooth. I have told him the story of the first one. The guy simply said: “With me it will be much easier; I’m a skillful doctor. I have never made a surgery but it doesn’t seem so difficult.” Do you really want to know how much he was regretting in the end for such word?! :-) The guy has broken two calipers while pushing the tooth and my lips were quite damage on the next days. The guy was sweating, I saw his shirt completely wet. I was lie-down on the chair without moving a finger and he was always telling me “Wait… don’t worry… be calm… everything is fine!”

The 4th tooth… the 4th surgery was last year on the day after my birthday. Another doctor was the prize-winner of such rare specimen into my mouth. Again, I told him all the stories. He have listen carefully and told “I hope I will not be a such lucky man!”. But.. he was! :-) It was the worst of the teeth. I never had a toothache before neither after of a removal tooth on the past surgeries. The 4th surgery was a KO on my physical and mental health. 3 weeks to recover and to go to US to present an oral session. Yes, I have recovered… after 2 mounts. Yes, everybody has called me the superwoman.

I was talking in the beginning that I’m a unforgettable persona. Yes I am.

Two days ago I was into the dentist just to remove some tartar. Usually I do this once a year. When the doctor saw me he have asked astonishingly:
- Are you coming to remove another tooth?!
- I’m glad you remember me. I’m just making a check-up, I do not have any more these kind of teeth. – I said. The doctor:
- Thanks God! How could I forget you?! It was the most difficult tooth I’ve removed in all my life.

See?! I told you … I’m unforgettable. :-)

Happy Birthday [Re-edited]

I have remembered that today it is the birthday of a very old friend. I do not see the guy since 1998. After some research on the internet, a couple of phone calls, I’ve got his personal phone number. I’ve sent the happy birthday by sms.

I think he will be surprised :p

Happy birthday JP.
No one is so young than you; at least you were younger than I on life living, even being 8 years older than me. Congratulations.

Kisses and take care.

----------------------------------------------------

He never thought that I could remember him. I told him "Every year I remember your birthday, but today I have decided to compliment you."
A phone call of 35 minutes talking about philosophical issues, as always. He stills the same guy.
Oops... he das done 40... I was pretty sure it was only 39.

Time Travel

About 3 years that I don’t live at my parents house and this last week, I was there… alone.

To wake up with the rooster crow, to be lapped on the hands by the dog and to water the backyard… here are some unforgettable moments before to ride to work. At the end of the day… to arrive at home and see a jumping crazy Doberman with 70Kg waiting for some candies and to be petted.

My parent’s house has two independent flats and yesterday I was on the upper one: my home where I lived alone until my departure. My room was empty as I left it. When I entered in the office I’ve sited down and look for each thing I left behind. I have taken 3 things from the office: my letter opener, a painting draw and the ticket from the last concert.

Each object has a specific meaning for me:
Letter opener: never quit, even when life seems the worst.
Painting draw: keep smiling and singing even if you are down.
Ticket: never wish to be dead.

In the bathroom, here there were my perfumes, my hairbrush and my bath salt. Yes… I’ve picked them up.

I’ve sited on the sofa watching TV. I don’t remember what I was watching, but I do remember what my thoughts were: the last day in that house. I remember my mother doing some emotional blackmail with me saying that I was abandoning her. She has never realized that I was talking seriously about leaving; she never thought that I will leave even without a place to stay and with no money in the pocket (neither in the bank account). It was not her fault neither mines, but we split our lives there.

Yes, I left home with my basic stuff. No new home, no money to eat and with a brand new car. That’s a hilarious story. The car was mine, I’ve paid for it. I was beginning my PhD and I passed 4 months without receiving my wage (scholarship). I have found a place to stay for some while, and while my scholarship was not being paid I still had some money to take some milk with some bread in the morning, a cheese sandwich for lunch and two apples at the end of the afternoon.

Suddenly I have waked up from this time travel and I said loud: “I still not have a sofa neither a TV but at least I have my own flat.” I’ve clean my tears and I went downstairs to cook my dinner.

A decade of MOOing

Some years ago... I have chosen a nickname or character according my personality. Gold Moon was the name, describing the shyness hidden in the moon and the joy mystified by the light of the gold.

Gold Moon is a fictional character from RPGames created by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman in 1984. By the matter of fact, I have chosen this character only for one reason:

Gold Moon is a healer, and finds satisfaction in helping others, even when her healing power and mysticism both leave she does what she can to help. She had the strength to unite her people under her ailing father, and to later carry the blue crystal staff into the world. She saw her village destroyed and a lot of other destruction during the War of the Lance, but her love for Riverwind and the goddess Mishakal helped carry her past her grief at the destruction she saw to help others to build a future.

After a few years I have decided to quit moo and I really have destroyed (or recycled) everything what I have build until that moment.

For some reason (don’t ask me what it was) I have returned 5 years ago and re-built everything from the beginning, but this time with a new character: Lady Godiva.

According to the popular story, the beautiful Lady Godiva took pity on the people of Coventry, who were suffering grievously under her husband's oppressive taxation. Lady Godiva appealed again and again to her husband, who obstinately refused to remit the tolls. At last, weary of her entreaties, he said he would grant her request if she would ride naked through the streets of the town. Lady Godiva took him at his word and, after issuing a proclamation that all persons should keep within doors or shut their windows, she rode through, clothed only in her long hair.

And these 2 characters resume my life. Basically, to help people at all cost. Firstly with the strength of the youth and finally with the wisdom acquaint along the years. In real life I am the Lady but with the wild spirit of a young girl. Perhaps someday I will return to moosaico, but today I can assure you that my will is to leave everything and everyone behind me.

You can ask which character I would personify if I come back, right?! Humm, I don’t know, but someone likes Hypatia of Alexandria :-) It’s not a promise and yet… you will need to wait a couple of years for my return. Perhaps at my forty age!

And you… just keep MOOing. I'm not going to die, just leaving. You know where you can find me. And if you find who sings this song, I will give you a candy bar.

P.S. No, I don’t want to discuss the reverse of the music.

To please me

How many times you have tried to please someone and how many times you have really pleased who you want?! I deduce that often times. But if this someone was me, I’m sure that your rate of success would be not so high.

This last weekend I have remembered an episode with an ex-boyfriend. Usually I don’t like to be stucked on a relationship, well… what I want to say is that I like to put everything moving, changing in a way to not transform the relationship into a boring routine. Basically, no one gets bored with me, but I really don’t want get bored, otherwise… (you know the story).

One day:
Boy: “What to you want that I do to please you?!”
Me: “Just surprise me!”
Boy: “But how?!”
Me: “Use your imagination.”

In fact, he has not used his imagination. I wonder if he someday will have this gift. He has tried to please me, but unfortunately he was unsuccessful. He has offered me some jewellery. I have refused, I could not accept that, but he was so insistent… oh well, the jewellery in on a little box since a few years ago.

Some years before, someone gave me books. Ok, I like to read; I have hundred of books, but to give a book you should know the type of readings that someone likes. On another occasion someone gave me a Rap CD music… (no comments). To give lingerie without knowing the correct size is nonsense. I have bras at home which are 3 sizes above mine.

It’s so easy to please a girl (well… me), why people just turn everything complicated? Here are some unforgettable moments of my life:

- A stolen rose from a garden by the morning just after wake up.
- A kiss under a thunderstorm on the street.
- To be kidnapped for a romantic weekend.
- To be carried on a man arms into the bedroom.
- A man hand on our face to clean the tears without asking what’s wrong.
- A look into the eyes, a tied hug and a silent company.
- To be waked up at 5 a.m. just to heard “I love you.”
- To be pushed for a dance with a craft candy on his mouth instead a rose.
- …

And some more. Many people say that I’m complicated. I call myself a dreamer and a friend of mine calls me the eternal romantic. Today I finish this message with a rose… a rose for you who reads these few words.

Nostalgia

Les dessins animés de notre enfance. :)

First big lesson in my life

This weekend I have remembered some episodes from my childhood. At night in my room, completely alone I have tried do understand on what was happened and transform me into what I am today.
I was born in France, in a big city called Grenoble (at the Alphes). When I was arrived to Portugal, I was 8 years old. The Portuguese language was difficult to speak, but I have always understood what people told me.
Well, when I was in France, I was the little Portuguese girl. I never had many friends in France, my colleagues looked at me as if I was from another planet. I was always well dressed as a princess and an extremely clean girl. Nobody tried to be agressive with me, the kids in France were pacific, but very cold on their manners.
At Portugal, I was the little French girl. The Portuguese princess was now a French princess. At school I was the best, the teacher counts with me to explain the math exercises. She was proud of me and… of course, I was proud of myself. In the parents meetings, the teacher gave always an example of good student… me… and my mother was proud too. Outside the school, the story was quite different. I was the French girl and the good student of my school, I was completely different from the other kids… Portuguese kids… and not so good students. Once more, I was someone without friends. Conversely, the Portuguese children were not polite in their conversation and they were aggressive even with a girl.
Along the years, I have remained quite and calm, I have always eared and digested not pretty words and acts. Inside me, a storm was preparing to break down. One day (I was 12 years old), after a good basketball match I have transform myself in the devil.
Like I said before, I was the best at school, even at the gym. The basketball was my favorite sport; I was expert on making the usual 3 points from the mid camp. In that day, my team has wanned with a high score: 37 – 6. At the end, we (the girls) were into the showers and… as usually, someone (Marta) was not digesting another defeat and talked to me rudely. I have not responded to her, I have ignored her completely. She was furious; she came into my direction and pushed me against the wall, sticking her nails on my back hands. After 20 years, I still have the marks of her nails in my hands.
Oh boy, that was her worst mistake . I was stronger than her (I never realize that until that day), I have pushed her backward, she fell on the floor and I gave her a hard kick on the ribs and on the face. She got bleeding on the lips, but nothing special, she deserved more than that. That was the last time she messed up with me.
Since I was a good student and never messed up with nobody, the school director has not believed on Marta’s version. My version was pretty reasonable “nothing happens sir, I do not understand why she is always trying screw up me!”. Nobody of the rest of the teams said a word about what happened, for the first time I felt to not be alone.

And… that was the first time that I have really hurt someone.

Lesson n.1: Being aggressive and authoritarian sometimes can give you some respect.